7

Seven years down, who knows how many to go?

I was suffering from some serious delusions of grandeur back in 2008, as I imagined myself being a well-versed veteran of erotic fan art by now. In my hubris, I failed to recognize that it had taken me ten years to be on the feeble level I was back then, and over twenty if we go by my drawing hobby in general and not just cartoon smut. In these old planning files, I see myself dreaming of doing live-action quality sketches by 2012, and even 3D-looking 2D art a year before that. Of course, it's laughable and very, very egotistical when you think about it now.

Nonetheless, I do admire the drive I had back then. I seemed to be telling myself that I feared absolutely nothing, and while that was true to a certain extent, many of my followers quickly noticed that I had my comfort zone in Danny Phantom erotica, and I rarely stepped away from it. The drive, however, had nothing to do with my lack of certainty when it came to drawing outside the Hartman style and that one, I will argue, was very much a real thing. When the bubble of my hubris burst (nemesis), my studies caught up with me and I acquired more friends within the community, it humbled me and to some point even slowed down that drive. There were several moments where I wanted to wind down and take a break, and one came rather quickly during 2009 and 2010 after I burned out from attempting to do that huge DP orgy picture, but in the end the drive always returned. It was not as youthful and idealistic (or as foolish) as it was in the early days, but it kept me purchasing more pencils and paper, and at one point, I even got myself a Wacom tablet. It wasn't the Cintiq I used to blab on and on about over at Wacky World, but it's now an irreplaceable part of my fan art creation process and has paid back its hefty price of 459€ a good while ago.

In a few years I will be hitting thirty years of age, and my youth, as they say, will soon be over. Would I say I regret spending it on the internet, drawing nasty pictures of cartoon characters? No. I only regret that I did not have the possibility, for one reason or another, experience life in all its richness, but specifically by the way of travelling around the world – still, I did manage to visit The United States a couple of times, so I cannot even say I was completely robbed of that either. I am well aware that life isn't over when you enter the next big ten so I do hope to make it out into my 40s as a man who went, saw and didn't necessarily conquer but returned safely home with a few more life experiences richer. Home, where awaiting him is a nice stack of 120g/m³ paper, several different pencils and an Intuos 5L.

(Of course, if you guys think that I'm sounding like some old rocker waxing on about some wisdom he writes on a blog he barely knows to operate, then you might be right. It really is douche chill -inducing and I should just shut up and get back to drawing naked ladies)

I know I should thank you all at this point but I don't know, it'd probably be a bit insincere since there's a chance this gets read by a bunch of people who don't really give a shit, including tracers, and thanking them would be a bit silly. So, instead, I'll end it with the universal motto of a Generation X slacker:

Whatever.

Have some Desiree tits.